I was preparing a lesson tonight on ‘Congruence’ for my level 3 class, the theory tells us that that along with ‘Empathy’ and ‘Unconditional Positive Regard’, this ‘trinity’ of conditions which Carl Rogers described as the ‘necessary and sufficient conditions for therapeutic change’ colloquially referred to as the ‘Core conditions’.The theory tells us that if the counsellor displays these attitudes to her client, therapeutic change will take place.
But what if it doesn’t?
Recently during a case discussion with my Diploma group, one of the tutorial brought* a client who would not accept the core conditions, her self-esteem was so low she could not believe that anyone cared.
I was left with the impression that the student felt she had not been ‘enough’ for the client, that somehow she may have ‘failed’ her.
It lead me to a passage in the book ‘Person-Centred Counselling in action’ by Dave Mearns and Brian Thorne, entitled , ‘CAN THE CLIENT ACCEPT MY ACCEPTANCE’ , which discuss with great thought and no little insight how the counsellor can be drawn in to a self fulfilling prophesy where they believe that the client is beyond help.
Thus the client feels that they are justified in believing that they are unworthy and the counsellor feels de-skilled and hopeless (feelings of incompetence or FOI as it is known in the trade) .
Research indicates that the counsellors feelings of ‘warmth’ toward clients are not enough, it has to be communicated, clients have to hear and accept the counsellors ‘feelings’ toward them.
Which brings us back to .congruence. , being authentic .which is why I offer this song to you , sung by Mavis Staples , it conveys the simple message from one human being to another, saying quite simply “You are not alone……I empathize… we will walk together” ,which is the ethos of Person Centered Therapy.
* ‘bringing clients’ refers to the practice of trainee counsellors discussing client work in a facilitated confidential environment, clients are not identified by name’